Who wants to be superwomen to everyone? No, I know I’m not. As a women, especially women of color, we constantly find ourselves solving everyone’s problems. It’s a natural thing to do. If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you have a hard time saying “no” as well because you don’t want to disappoint anyone. Well, if you’re a people pleaser, it turns out that the only person that you end up disappointing is yourself.
I have a brutally honest childhood friend and we’ve kept each other around since middle school. We ended up going to the same high school as well and before the school year started we had an honest conversation with one another about what we should work on before the year started. I don’t remember what I told her and I’m pretty sure whatever I said was a bunch of BS anyway. However, I do remember what she told me.
That’s when I knew she truly had my best interest at heart. I’m sure I didn’t apply her advice in high school and throughout most of my years at college. It wasn’t until I realized my value and that my happiness and health matter more than constantly being there for everyone else. I’m not saying that you can’t put other people first but I am saying that there is a balance between tending to your needs first and knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.” That’s going to be different for everyone and that timing will change for everyone.
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