I had to write this article because I’m getting pissed off about how people are dating in their quest to find a long-term relationship. Something is in the air and completely off about the way we are approaching and handling the process. I had to put pen to paper (actually I mean fingers to keyboard) to get this off my chest and have an honest and open discussion about what is possibly holding you back in the way you date and approach love.
I’m writing this with your best intentions and not as a way to scold you but to help you along. I get so mad when I see others repeat mistakes I’ve done and I don’t want you to waste your time, body, or soul on unworthy people. Ok, soul might be a bit exaggerative, but now that I got your attention, let’s proceed with this conversation.
1. Forget this timing thing. Yes, there are people you will meet at the wrong time. You’re in a relationship. They’re in a relationship. They are married. They’re separated from their spouse and trying to figure it out. They aren’t ready to settle down yet.
Yes, I get all of these things, but they all mean the same thing. And I just want you to remember this one thing. Time is a commodity you can’t get back. And you are losing time, lots of it unnecessarily when you waste time on someone you can’t be available to you in the way you need them to be.
So, please stop focusing on those who aren’t able to be what you need when you need it. Let them go. The more energy, time, and effort you waste on them, the more it prevents you from moving forward. And I love this quote that I saw, “Sometimes being single is the upgrade.” Remember that, hold your head high, and walk the f*&k away from what doesn’t serve you well.
2. Stop having sex with any and everybody and so soon. Back in the day, men had to earn their way into bed with you. They had to court you. They were about impressing you and when other guys were competing for you, it added to your value and them wanting you even more. They didn’t back off, they upped their game.
Now I realize that we aren’t in the 1940’s or 1950’s and it’s like 2018, but I really don’t care. Because sex is so readily available in every type of form, and access is so easy it’s become under-appreciated and totally taken for granted. Hook-ups are so random and so frequent that the men I coach say that getting in bed with someone within the first hours, days, or weeks and getting oral appreciation has become the new norm. You know how it is when you can have something all of the time, it becomes less desired, I think that is why it is so hard for people to settle down. It becomes about what is next versus what is available and in front of you.
Now I’m all about you getting your freak on when appropriate, but some kind of reset needs to happen. Value your body and who you share it with. And I’m talking about guys too. It needs to happen with both sexes. More doesn’t always equate to better and sometimes too much sex can mute out your ability to have a real connection with someone.
Read the full article HERE.