To Speak Up or Not To Speak Up
True or False
- This is your first date with the guy.
- You are fairly certain what you feel is more than lust.
- You would own your love for him in front of your parents, boss, BFF.
- You feel the love fuzzies for him even if he interrupts Scandal or some other equally important moment.
If you answered TRUE to at least the last three of these, read on!
I have a confession to make. (And once you read this blog, you must burn it because I’ll deny I ever wrote it.) But here goes … I told Al I loved him before he told me. Yes. Yes! I know. I knooow. I got all caught up in the moment, and it just spilled out. And afterwards … crickets. He said NOTHING! I was mortified. Later as I recanted my faux pas to Joyce, my best friend and former college roommate, she screamed, “Oh. My. GOD. Have I taught you NOTHING?”
But you know what? Although it took Al a full fourteen days before he told me he loved me (Yes, girl, I counted the number of days. You know I did!), being the first to say “I love you” didn’t kill me. Or my relationship with Al. We did end up married after all.
So, here’s my life lesson for you, Chica ─ if you get caught up in the moment, don’t come down all hard on yourself if you’re the first to blurt out the three tiny words that can change ev.er.ree.thang. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, for some reason, society taught us that if we’re women, we should even be a little embarrassed by an unprompted confession. But saying “I love you” can also be super empowering. At least it’s out there. The guy now knows, and either he loves you back or he doesn’t. Better to find that minor detail out sooner rather than later, don’t ‘cha think?
Saying it first also takes you out of that brain fog that new love keeps you all wrapped up in. Think about it. You’re sittin’ there, eating your Ben & Jerry’s on your sofa on Shonda Rhimes’ Thursday, and all you keep thinking during Grey’s Anatomy is “Is he my McDreamy? Does he love me, ‘cause I sure love me some him.” Aargh. Forget that noise. Listen. When you were a kid in school and you had a question, what’d you do? You raised your hand and asked it. Better yet, if you knew the answer to the question, what’d you do? You didn’t even wait to be called on. You just shouted it out loud and proud. So, if you know that you love THIS guy (and this isn’t like, you know, a one night stand or a rotational booty call), there is no shame in shouting out loud, “Hey man, I love you!” Because love is powerful, sister. It is not a crutch. It is a not a scarlet L. It is a badge of courage, and you are a BADASS.
Read the full article HERE.
Cheryl Grace is the sassy aunt, best friend, and mentor you’ve always needed in your life. The successful jet-setting, global corporate executive founded the aspirational lifestyle brand Powerful Penny LLC. Her products, workshops and speeches probe, inspire and empower to ensure those who really want to can get to their next level of best. Her blogs on careers, prosperity, relationships, family, looking and living fabulously, and living a five-star life can be found at www.powerfulpenny.com.